Hard work - Its not what your parents told you it was ...

I'm no stranger to hard work. In fact, this was the one virtue that I really believed would get me ahead in life. I didn't think I was overly bright. I definitely was not more organized than most. And naivety was my speciality.

Work ethic though? That was in my bloodstream. I was brought up to view hard work as the one thing that would put me ahead in the workforce, and I'm not disputing the lesson. It stuck and I'm grateful my parents instilled this in me. There is a very large portion of our country that simply need to work harder. But there was something quite obvious

about the lesson that didn't compute for me.

My dad was an extremely hard worker, never taking a sick day -ever. I took the trip with my Mom to his employer not long after his death in 1987, to pick up his "back pay", which consisted of accumulated sick pay he had never taken. We had discussed on the way to pick it up that neither of us could remember the last time he had missed a day of work. When my Mom got back in the car, she told me they had to cut two different checks, since they had a maximum amount they could write in a single check. She ended up going back into the office to make sure it was correct, because one check was for $30,000.00! That was more than my dad earned in an entire year!

So yes, hard work has its benefits. I was clear hard work was a virtue and I don't think I could have dogged it anywhere if I tried. In our family, it's just what you did. The problem was that I had little evidence it was sure to pay off.  I was pretty young when I started to question it.

My dad was one of the hardest working people I have ever been around including extra part time jobs, and we just barely got by- $30,000 check or not. That came way too late and with a lot of sacrifices. My family was check to check for decades. Now don't get me wrong, others obviously didn't get by. So we had that. But when the option seemed to be "get by" or "don't get by"....I was out. There had to be a better way.  See the post on Winning-A Lost Art for more on this.

Hard work by itself can look like rowing a boat with just one oar...on one side only.  You'll go round and round and round, but get nowhere.

My solution? I'll go to college. I was the first and only one in my family to go.  I really believed this was my golden ticket of sorts. It'll be my second oar.  Getting a degree was the answer; the answer to a better job, a better neighborhood, a better house - just better.

The hard work that was taught to me isn't as inherent in the neighborhood my kids are now in.  Education is the top priority here. You play to your strengths or available resources I guess.  Neither is right or wrong, just different.

How many highly educated people did we see from 2008 - 2012 out of work, or working for half of what they were used to? The hard workers applied their efforts elsewhere and many times found success. Others put their heads in the sand and hoped for the best.  Was that actually easier?

Success isn't just money or title, but how you feel about all of it as well.

What's the answer?  What's the formula?

Nothing in life is guaranteed, but if there was a formula I would bet on this one...

Attempt
Fail
Learn
Apply
Repeat.

But people don't want to hear that.

They don't want to hear that because that would mean changing, or more work, or dealing with the ego that wants to be right all the time.  They want there work to pay off now, not later.

There isn't another way to success.  It happens only through change, change and more change.  

Attempt, fail, repeat is the norm and it's exhausting.  It's even exhausting, almost painful for me to watch.  My biggest thrill is watching others try new things and grow.  Learning and changing brings pride and accomplishment.

The bottom line?  Attack your success from many directions.  Work hard, learn as much as you can, and keep changing course through trail and error.

But please stop doing the same thing over and over and ...expecting a different result.




What did you do and fail at that led you to a learning moment or a change in direction?  Let us know in the comment section below!